In today's society we make a big to do about mother's day. I am not discrediting mother's - I happen to be one and I love and miss mine dearly. I simply feel that father's don't get enough credit! Many of the tributes I saw to the dads in the world yesterday were characterized by the standard 'real' father cynicism instead of just saying Happy Father's Day. Mother's can be just as undeserving of a day in their honor, but there doesn't seem to be the same stigma attached to them...no matter the level of involvement and dedication they have to their children. Not all fathers have lackluster parenting skills. Not all fathers run away. Not all fathers are shut up and sit down disciplinarians yielding belts and beer bottles. There are many men who deserve some credit.
I for one, was born to a manic depressive, addiction prone, anxious mama. I cannot allow those to be her only descriptive qualities, because she was much more than that. But honestly, I have both many good and bad things to say about her. On the other hand, I was blessed at birth to this man who loves me more than anything on this Earth and I couldn't find a bad word to say about him if I tried.
He did it by himself. I can imagine it isn't easy raising a little girl all alone but he never let it show. I wasn't the best dressed girl because I had a very plain(I.E.unfashionable) daddy doing the buying and laundering. Today I love that my dad was never materialistic - he never bought my love and he never taught me to be more concerned with appearances than what was on the inside. Looking back, I'd much rather have time than things. And time I had.
We spent weekends camping, hiking, canoeing, horseback riding, and crafting with our Indian Guides troop in Elementary. We spent weeks of the summer in California, Texas, and Florida. Just he and I and our extended family. A single dad toting a little girl around the country without a woman's help. Unheard of. Admirable.
In middle school there were practices and games up to four or five times a week - he was at EVERY single one. He shuttled me to and from my weekly music lessons and never missed a performance. He went to church twice a week because I wanted to. He made sure I was at every bible study and youth group activities the rest of my schedule allowed. He worked ALL THE TIME. I cannot imagine he ever slept. I was a busy girl and he was a dedicated daddy.
Then we have the high school years. In which our home served as a boarding house for all of my best girlfriends EVERY weekend....all weekend. On any given weekend there were at least 4 chatty teenagers who thought the world revolved around them.The best part was he let us think that. I recall a grocery list about a page long in junk food - he looked at us like we were crazy...then brought it all home. He facilitated my numerous trips to the movies or the mall. He tolerated the INCESSANT obsession with all things NSYNC and was forced far to many times to listen to the pop music reverberating throughout his sound system. As if he could even hear it with us shrieking and giggling.. as 15 year old girls do. Did I mention the time we had tickets to the concert and I became extremely ill and couldn't go. He was our ride and he took all my friends anyway AND treated them to some late night dinner downtown afterward. He was always completely unselfish and so generous with both me and anyone who I loved.
What stands out the most about the man I am blessed to have been born to is his unending support throughout all of my trials and tribulations. I was a sharp tongued teenager who wasn't interested in rules. I got myself in trouble too many times. I never got arrested or terribly hurt but I definitely contributed as a financial burden and stress inducer. He never gave up on me. He respected my feelings and gave me space when I needed it. He screened my phone calls and followed me when he thought I was up to no good. He stuck his nose where I very much liked to believe it didn't belong and asked questions I never wanted to answer. He put strict limitations on my driving - including counting every mile I should have gone vs every mile I did go. He was in a relentless pursuit at making sure I was safe - even if that meant I held it against him.
He was there doing all those things parents don't want to have to do...especially dads with daughters. He was loving his daughter with every second, every ounce, and everything he had. Why? I can't say for sure. I was important and loved - that I know. So thank you dad for giving me your all and being so completely selfless. You are a wonderful father and grandfather. I am so blessed to have been given YOU as my father the day I was born and everyday thereafter.
4 comments:
He sounds like a wonderful man. You were blessed.
hats off to him for being such an awesome parent and to you for posting about it!
So I saw were you were blogging and decided to go all the way back to the beginning to read and now I just came to this post and it literally has tears in my eyes while I sit here at work. Your dad was/is awesome, I know we put him through hell sometimes but he never turned us down when we wanted to come back over lol...and I will never forget how it took us to the concert even though you weren't going! :)
It brought tears to my eyes re-reading it :) So glad to have him, he hasn't changed a bit!
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