Ah, life..you never cease to surprise me. Rattle my cages. Put a fire in my heart. If I was ever going to do it, NOW is when I get back into writing...really writing.

Life is a tumultuous, roller coaster of an ordeal. One second, you are climbing that mountain, inch-by-inch, bracing with anticipation for the wild ride. Until you find yourself falling, flying, fast tracking it toward a destination unknown. Your surroundings, your life, just a blur as you whiz by. Sometimes fearfully, other times full of that childish zeal for life..complete and unfounded joy. Sometimes both.

I am on that roller coaster, experiencing that indescribable energy of fear, excitement, and giddiness all balled into a knot in my stomach that propels me forward. Even on my worst days, I am blessed beyond measure.

When I have no time to breathe, that is exactly when I want to stop, take a moment to let it all settle in, and just be still. To revel in my children's puffy eyed, wild haired, cuddles in the morning. The sounds of mischievous giggles in the dark. My life is beautiful, and I cherish it. I want to remember these times forever.

I want to find the good in all this crazy, hectic, frenzy-ish life has to offer. My heart is just filled to the brim right now with gratitude, expectancy, inspiration! I'm writing it down to remember, so I can look back and see where I've been and what everything meant to me. Before it's just a fleeting moment I passed on my way between the mountains and valleys.

God, you are so good.

Leading Ladies

 I felt the calling to start a women's small group at Freedom with my friend Teresa. Up until last night, I was wondering whether or not I was just nuts. Those feelings of doubt and insecurity crept in, and left me feeling completely inadequate to move forward. Was I spiritual enough for this? Can I lead people who are further in their walk than I am? Do I have it in me to be as transparent enough to lead a discussion full of real life issues women face daily?

I still don't know the answers to those questions, but I do know this, it really doesn't matter what I think, or question for that matter. I don't even have the right to question! God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called. How profound! I don't have to work for it. I don't have to reach this particular milestone I have set out for myself before moving forward. I can just rest in knowing my God in heaven has called me to do this, and that means I'm ready, whether I think so or not.

And although I was feeling inadequate, that could never supersede the feelings of excitement and gratitude I had by being given the chance to do this. I have an incredible woman of God to lean on, and I could not be more excited to do this with her. The ladies in our group are incredible, and I am so BLESSED to call them my friends. We had a great discussion! There were laughs, there were cries, but most importantly, there was the chance to love others, and love Jesus, and that's exactly what we did. God showed up and showed off last night! Can't wait until next week so He can do it again!