Walking out of the Darkness

When I lost my mom four years ago to addiction and suicide, I vowed to myself that I would do whatever it took to help whoever I can in the future. Survivors of suicide often struggle with feelings of guilt or project fault onto themselves for the loss of their loved ones. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have "what if" moments, but I promised myself that instead of letting guilt take over, that I wanted to pay it forward.

 I knew that in order to help others, the thought of what I've been through couldn't tear me apart. I am now ready. It has taken me awhile to come to a place of strength and peace in this situation, but I am finally there. I have my days, it will always hurt, but I want nothing more than to move forward and use my experiences to reach others in a positive way.

To start off this exciting step in my healing, I am participating in a walk called 'Out of the Darkness' that helps to fund the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I am so excited to help raise awareness about depression, mental health, and suicide. Most importantly, this is THE FIRST positive step I have taken in honoring my mom's memory and the beautiful life she lived before a tragic end.

I hope that through the steps I am taking, I can help shed a positive light on the people who do suffer from these type of illness. Nobody has to live in darkness, and I want to help bring out happiness on the other side of life. Hopefully in the process, I can begin to remember the light in my life that was my mom, for who she was before she left this memory in my heart. It's hard to get past, but I am on my way.

All in honor of you mama, I promise I'll never forget our times together.

Your memory will always be precious to me.