Part 2: Weight Loss - Mind, Heart, and Body

(You can see Part 1 here)

One of the biggest things I have learned is that you have to be healthy mentally before you can ever pursue getting healthy physically. I have had too many failed attempts at dieting to give up that easily this time around, so after making my initial decision to devote myself to weight loss, I gave myself about a month to prepare my mind. I spent a lot of time reflecting on what had gotten me here, and where I wanted to be by the end of it. I prayed, meditated, and spent time talking to trusted loved ones.

I feel like that time with myself was a very necessary part of my success thus far. I spent so much time running away from the reality I was facing, I really needed to connect what I was running from, to what I am now running toward. It was key, and valuable time spent. I'd do it again if I had the chance, and I recommend a similar approach to anyone about to undertake a drastic life change. Prepare your mind and heart, and your body will follow - it has no choice!

That's the approach I took too, I gave my body no choice but to follow the path I designated. It's all in the mind, and if you are controlling yourself, you will see nothing but success. Because I knew I was devoted to this process, no matter what it took, I was going to stay on course. I got on track immediately by establishing a diet and exercise plan, and sticking to it no matter what I felt like. I couldn't believe how fast the weight began to drop off once I got serious about doing the work. In the very first week alone I lost 15 lbs, and within 3 months I had hit 50lbs in weight loss. 

I counted every calorie and weighed every serving out. If I was unsure (like at a restaurant) I split the portion in half and took it home for another meal. I've always been a pretty healthy eater, I love vegetables, seafood, lean meats, and fresh/organic produce. What I learned through this process is I also love carbs and sauces, and didn't know how to put a healthy limitation on myself. By being calorie obsessed in the beginning, I am now much more conscious of what I put into my body. 

I also learned that I have a love/hate relationship with working out. I HATE it during, but afterward the feeling of triumph I get cannot be rivaled. I keep my eye on the prize at all times, and I won't settle for anything less than what I envision for myself. When I want to give up, I see myself as a healthy woman with no limitations, living a long life. It's always enough to keep me going. And if it's not, I yell, grunt, pray, cry, sing, and sometimes even curse to make it through. Often I do all of the above, and I am quite thankful I have an elliptical in my own house for this very reason, who wants to make a fool of themselves in public? Not I, but I don't have to. :)

When the numbers on the scale reflect the hard work I've put in, it's all worth it - every droplet of blood, sweat, and tears.  I have hit plenty of roadblocks, but I've never let them defeat me. Life happens, but it won't stop me. I'm a single mom and a full time student. Running a household and making time for myself in the mean time is nearly impossible. NEARLY, being the key word. I have to work out, even if 20 minutes is all my day allows, that's what I'll do. If it means I'm doing yoga with a 2 year old monkey man between my legs, that's what I'll do. If my success and my family's well-being means I have to fight with my kids to eat a new recipe that doesn't involve chicken nuggets or macaroni, that's what I'll do. No excuses for any reason.

I've faced 2 injuries in the midst of this, one of which barred me from my goal of completing the Peachtree Road Race. It was a heartbreaking moment for me to hear from my doctor that my rehabilitation was not going to allow the training necessary, and when the day itself came, it was bittersweet. All I could do was focus on my health and ultimate long term goals. I know that I will be well prepared to be their next year, and that's okay. As long as I am making strides daily toward a healthy life, I am satisfied with that. I won't give up on myself, I am the only person who can make this happen.

I've learned through this process, it is all about sacrifice, which is never a bad thing when done for the right reasons. Most of all, I've learned that what I THOUGHT would be a sacrifice, has turned out to be a blessing. I have gained more confidence and self-esteem than I ever knew my soul could contain. Today, I can look at myself in the mirror and love myself for who I am, flawed and all. I now fully know the depth of my potential, and that is a blessing no one can take away from me. When I thought I just had weight to lose, I found out I had everything to gain. 

Today, I am 85 lbs into this journey. I had hoped to be at 100 lbs lost by now, but my body finally decided to slow down. I am rolling with the punches - day by day and pound by pound. I haven't allowed this plateau to effect my attitude, if anything it has driven me further. I know what I want for my life, I'll stop at nothing to get it. 

I appreciate each and every one of you who have lent me your support. The encouragement and response I get from my friends and families just drives me along and puts joy in my heart. I literally have not had one discouraging day in this journey because I am SO BLESSED beyond measure by my ROCK STAR support team. I never anticipated to have so many people show their love, kindness, concern, advice, congratulations, and encouragement along this road. You guys are my inspiration, keep it coming, I still have a long ways to go, but so ready to get there. <3