Consuming Fire

My heart aches - not in that mopey, self-serving, woe is me kind of way. It's really not about me at all, other than I'm finding that this certain subject consumes the entirety of my soul with compassion, concern, and a desire to do something.

Maybe it stems from the environment I was in growing up. Perhaps it is because the person I loved most in this world was the last person I could save. Or, because I have seen too many old friends, acquaintances, and young people in general sell their souls and give up their very lives at the hand of an addiction. It is senseless and heartbreaking.

Mostly, I think this blinding passion stems from really knowing someone suffering from this, inside and out - mind, body, and spirit. What I've learned is that people suffering from an addiction are not just stupid and reckless. They have heart and soul, and are fully capable of radiating love just as much as the rest of us. They are never a lost cause...ever...and deserve to experience life outside the bondage of addiction.

While they may be sick, they are not hopeless; they are lost, and in need of help. And prayer. And redirection. And encouragement. And support. I cannot stress those enough. It makes me ANGRY to see people fall victim to something because they think they're hopeless. No one is hopeless. No one is outside the reach of of being saved from an addiction.

A wise man by the name of Bishop TD Jakes has said that your misery is your ministry. I am finally understanding the scope of that statement. I want to make an impact, and over and over addiction has been laid on my heart. I'm talking blinding signs, it couldn't be made anymore clear to me. I can't go a day without the burden of knowing my story and my passion could help save a life.

I have suffered unimaginable pain as a direct result of other people's addictions, but it has inspired something in me I don't think will ever subside. I no longer hurt for myself, my mother, or my past. I hurt for others futures that I know I can touch and impact in a big way. Where to go from here I am unsure, but I do know this is for me. One life would be enough, but I hope for much more than that. Now I just need to figure out how to begin...